Tell us your love story!
We met online in Minneapolis in 2011. We exchanged a few emails and I was intrigued. After much schedule coordinating (Rebecca was a 4th year Ob/Gyn resident and I was an overworked associate attorney) we met for drinks at a small coffee shop in Minneapolis and the intrigue continued. Rebecca’s beauty, brilliance, and presence are rather addictive qualities. I can’t get enough of her.
Tell us about the proposal!
We picked out Rebecca’s ring together. It seems odd not to have a say in jewelry your expected to wear forever. Rebecca didn’t know when I was going to buy the ring or propose. I was working in downtown Boston at the time. Rebecca picked me up from work on an October evening and I asked her to walk with me through the Boston Public Gardens. Rebecca hesitated because she had squash in the oven. (I was shocked as I am the cook in our family.) I insisted and we took a stroll through the empty public gardens. We arrived on the edge of the pond, the lights of the skyline reflecting in the water. I dropped to one knee, shared some lovely words, and asked her to marry me. She said yes. We went home and shared a bottle of Veuve followed by some delicious and very well-done squash.
When did you know that you were meant to be with each other?
We’ve been through so much together, an assignment with Doctors Without Borders, job changes, coast-to-coast dating, sickness, health, and back again, and back again…I knew I was meant to be with Rebecca when I couldn’t imagine my life without her.
Tell us about your big day…
We first decided on a location. We knew we wanted to marry near where we lived (and have most of our friends and family travel to us!). And we knew we wanted an intimate affair. We ended up falling for a restored Victorian mansion on Cape Cod where we could say our vows outdoors on the beautiful grounds manicured with French gardens. Rebecca tried on dozens and dozens of dresses until her sister in law saw a beautiful sheer lace dress in an indie bridal magazine. She tracked down the dress and when she tried it on, she knew immediately it was perfect (and perfect it was! She took everyone’s breath away.) Meanwhile, Austin was busy designing a classic and elegant custom suit. A graphic designer friend generously offered to make a dreamy invitation suite for us. We found a florist who truly created floral magic. She and her team captured an ethereal essence for the daytime flowers and transitioned to a dark romantic vibe for the evening flowers. The bridesmaids wore flower crowns or wove flowers into their hair rather than carrying bouquets. A dear friend of ours performed the ceremony, combining threads from both of our religious traditions with a heavy dose of science and humanism. A friend read an excerpt from the landmark marriage equality decision Goodrich v. Department of Public Health. This had special significance as we married in Massachusetts (the first state with marriage equality) in the month of the 10-year anniversary of the first marriages resulting from that decision. It was important to us to include our family in our ceremony. We asked our brothers (we each have two) and their wives to stand with us as our wedding party. Both of our best friends were our people of honor. Our nieces and nephews tossed flower petals down the aisle before Austin's father walked her down followed by Rebecca and her father. Rebecca's stepfather sang a beautiful blessing and our mothers planted bonsai cherry seeds to honor and encourage love that has been nourished.
Poetry was another theme of the wedding. A lifetime isn't long enough for the beauty of this world (Mary Oliver) was monogrammed inside Austin's suit. Our favorite poets designated tables (rather than numbers). A librarian friend read E. E. Cummings' [i carry your heart with me(i carry it in] during our ceremony.
Our day was filled with music. A string duet greeted arriving guests with classical music. After the ceremony, our guests enjoyed happy hour drinks and appetizers on the veranda of the mansion to the accompaniment of a pianist. Our friend continued playing classical jazz on the grand piano for dinner. After heartfelt toasts from our parents and people of honor, Austin's best friend (and man of honor) played Brandi Carlile's The Story on guitar while we danced our first dance. The DJ took over for a night of spirited dancing. Austin and her father enjoy smoking cigars together and he created an expansive cigar bar (complete with cigars from around the world) for guests to enjoy while they took a break from the dance floor.
We knew we would have an exquisite wedding, but nothing could have prepared either of us for the incredible love we shared that day with our friends and family. There was truly magic in the air.
Going into the wedding planning, what did you definitely know?
Coming of age, neither of us dared to dream that a legal wedding might be a reality. We still are so grateful and sometimes in awe that our marriage is recognized as equal in so many places. The only (and very very minor) downside was that we hadn't considered a single wedding detail until the engagement champagne stopped flowing! Much to our surprise, we both found that we thoroughly enjoyed the process of creating a dreamy, magical day.
What surprised you during planning?
It surprised me how much fun the planning could be. Pinterest became a way of life, as did wedding blogs. It was easy to come up with an esthetic we both agreed on. It was difficult to exclude people, having a huge wedding is fantastic, but it wasn't for us. We wanted something intimate and you just can't do HUGE and intimate.
Is there anything you wish you knew while you were planning your wedding that you know now?
It gets so much better after the planning is done! Marriage is really enjoyable. Of course there are highs and lows, but publicly embarking on a life with someone is the adventure of a lifetime.
Any advice for couples planning weddings now? Anything you would have done differently?
Take time to enjoy each other during the wedding planning process. Wedding planning can be significant strain on time, energy, and resources. A recently married friend of ours suggested that we reserve a few nights to discuss our actual lives with each other and not just talk wedding. It kept us connected.
Anything thing else you would like to add?
It was so much fun! Whatever your vision for your day is, make it happen. Get the bourbon you love, the shoes that you must have, the bespoke suit or dress that you know you were meant to be married in, it’s your day.
What was your favorite part of your wedding day?
Looking out at all the faces of the people we love looking back at us with love and excitement for us. People came from far and wide to celebrate us, and seeing friends and family from all over connect through us was thrilling. The love that was in the air was magical.
- Photography By Janet Moscarello Photography
- Venue By Highfield Hall
- Dress By Watters
- Suit By Duchess Clothier
- Florals By Wild Folk Studio
- Makeup By Melissa Mack
- Catering & Cake By The Casual Gourmet
- Invitations By Green Lark Designs
- Ceremony Music By Eliza Fath
- Pianist By Steven Bass
- DJ By Miss DJ Blaze