could never be
thing about you;
for it is bound
to this century,
and I intend
to love you
for much more
than one lifetime."
My wife and I are unsure about taking last names. Any suggestions?
Taking last names can be tricky in queer relationships. One of you isn't traditionally "supposed" to take the other person's name.
Many couples say they always knew who would take the other partner's last name, but for some couples it is less clear. If it isn't important to you, don't feel pressure to change your name at all, but if you're thinking about it, taking last names can be a great way to start your life together!
Hyphenated last names seem to have some sort of stigma (What about the kids?!), but I think they are great. It's the most egalitarian way to go about this name-taking business. It's a simple, equal solution.
However, if you are not interested in taking on two last names, you could always create a name that is a combination of both of your last names. This is actually really sweet and unique, although does require both of you to legally change your names. It can also be tricky, depending on your last names.
Whatever you chose to do, don't feel pressure to change your name in a way that makes you uncomfortable. This is what you'll be addressed as for the rest of your life.
Tell us how you met and fell in love!
We met on a Manhattan rooftop in June 2016 and have been inseparable ever since. Our proposal and engagement were also on NYC rooftops (we both enjoy a good view!).
Was there a proposal? Tell us about it!
Felix proposed to Matthew on the rooftop of the Cartier mansion in NYC (first proposal of its type for Cartier), and according to Felix is took a lot of strong partnerships to pull it off. Our client advisor, Rodica, had invited us for a private tour of the building, that started on the first floor and made its way up to the roof, explaining the history and heritage of the Cartier. When we arrived to the roof, the Central Park Orchestra was playing Make it to Me by Sam Smith, and the Cartier team had prepared the rings on a silver tray, with strawberries and champagne. There was hidden photography, followed by a photo session all throughout the building after Felix popped the question.
Are you planning your wedding right away or giving yourself some time to just be engaged?
We wanted to have an impactful engagement party to allow us some more time to be engaged and really perfect the details of the wedding. We plan to be married by Fall 2020.
What’s the best thing you’ve learned from your spouse-to-be?
Matthew to Felix – To live in the moment and enjoy everything that is in front of you. We both have intense jobs, and a crazy schedule but Felix is great at staying true to “date night” and is always planning the next weekend getaway!
Felix to Matthew- The importance of details and dedication. Whether it’s a birthday or a wedding, people will always remember the things you did for them, and the time and attention you put into something. Matthew tries his best to perfect anything that he puts his hands on (for better or worse).
What’s your favorite part of your relationship?
Our ability to openly communicate. We both have the same core values, but neither one of us are afraid to share our point of view, and work through a solution if we don’t see eye to eye. We respect each other, and always work as a team.