H&H Weddings

Étiquette

Happily Ever After

Planning a wedding is stressful enough without having to worry about etiquette guidelines. Let us help you out!

Ask us a question regarding étiquette by contacting us at bonjour@handhweddings.com

etiquette / q & a Aug 18 2015

Q

So, I have this friend who is getting married in a few months and it's all he'll talk about. I am super happy for him, but it's not all I want to talk about. What do I say?

A

This is a tough one, surely you are thrilled for your friend (we'll call him Joe) and his love, but it's not appropriate (or fair) that it's all he'll talk about. There are a few ways to brooch the subject. 

Try to subtly bring up other topics, like things that are going on in your own life. If the conversation somehow always steers back to the wedding, you might have to confront him about it.

Not only is it terrible for the people around Joe, but it's really unhealthy for him and his relationship. Wedding planning is no doubt one of the most momentous & stressful things that most people go through, but it's not the only thing that exists in life. And what happens to Joe & his spouse after the wedding? They're going to be left with nothing to talk about.

In the past, we've talked about what to do after the wedding hoopla is over. It's something that a lot of couples struggle with. You expend so much time, money & energy planning your wedding. Then, all of a sudden, it's over. This would be another great point to make to Joe. There is life post-wedding and he should be cognizant of that fact. 

If you approach it with Joe's best interests at heart, he'll likely see what you're talking about. 

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Tagged: etiquette, after the wedding, happily ever after
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etiquette / article Sep 16 2014

The Honeymoon List

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So, you’re big day was everything you hoped it would be and you’re still riding out the wedding high. Now, it’s time for the honeymoon! It’s a perfect way to unwind and reconnect after the months of planning that you did, but a honeymoon requires planning too. And packing! What are the essentials in your bag?  

The musts…  

-Airline tickets or e-ticket confirmation  

-Passport/visas/driver's license  

-Credit cards (only those you'll use)  

-Hotel/theater reservation confirmations (create a folder in your inbox for this type of thing)  

-Traveler's checks (if you plan to use them)  

-Two sets of photocopies of all of the above, plus a photocopy of related medical and/or trip insurance coverage and prescriptions (carry one set with you, leave one in the hotel room)  

-Phone numbers for your doctor, house/cat sitter, and credit card companies (in case your cards are lost or stolen)  

-Prescription medicine (in the original bottle)  

-ID tags for luggage  

There are a few things you’ll want to pack, not buy on your trip!  

-Insect repellent  

-Sunscreen and lip balm  

-Sunglasses  

-Sun hat or baseball cap  

-Aloe vera  

-Band-Aids  

-Aspirin/Antacid/Antihistamine & any other medicines you might need  

-Deck of cards  

-Tote bag  

-Guidebook  

-Electrical converter/adapter  

Bathroom Basics:  

-Shampoo/Conditioner  

-Lotion  

-Toothpaste  

-Toothbrushes  

-Deodorant  

-Cosmetics  

-Cotton balls and swabs  

-Comb/brush  

-Hair gel/spray  

-Nail file/clippers  

-Shaving cream  

-Razors  

-Contact lens and re-wetting solution, storage case  

Handy Extras:  

-Extra pair of glasses/contacts, asthma inhaler, and the like  

-Ziplock bags (all sizes; use for packing wet swimsuits or protecting camera and film when it rains)  

-Earplugs   -

Shout Wipes (instant stain-treater towelettes)  

Depending on the hotel, a few of these items including a hair dryer & alarm clock may be provided for you. If you plan on exploring, bring the appropriate clothing items, as well as if you plan to work out! Make sure that someone at home has all of your travel info as well! 

Things you can register for! Luggage/totes/duffels Headphones Camera OR lenses for your phone Charger/router  

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Tagged: happily ever after, honeymoon
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etiquette / article Sep 3 2014

Making a Marriage Work

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We do a lot of talking about your wedding day. What to wear, whom to invite, how to address your invites…the list goes on. However, the equally (actually, more) important thing that we rarely mention is life after marriage. You know, the decades that you spend with the person of your dreams? Oh yeah, that.  

Recently, it was the anniversary of Amy & Jeri, they were one of the very first couples who showed us just how spectacular a wedding can be. They were visibly overjoyed by each other, they were chic & completely stunning. Needless to say, we realized we had to start H&H Weddings to show LGBT couples that rainbows were not their only options for décor (not that there is anything wrong with rainbows if that’s what you want).  

I asked Amy to tell me a bit about what makes their marriage work, because that’s really what’s most important. It’s not whether your wedding day was a seamlessly executed event. It’s whether your relationship is strong and lasting. I wanted to talk about a few of the things that she touched on as well as what the H&H Weddings team thinks are important factors in marital bliss!  

1. Pay homage -€“ As the years pass, as intertwined as lives can be, two people can grow apart. A great way to remember your roots as a couple is to pay homage to your relationship. Maybe you have a morning routine that it just yours (like Amy & Jeri), or even inside jokes. The key is to have something that belongs just to the two of you!  

2. Remember your vows - Easier said than done. Whether you said traditional religious vows or read an excerpt from a children'€™s book, you should be grounded in the words that you said to one another on your wedding day. We love the idea of keeping your vows written down somewhere so if your feeling distant or upset with one another, you can reread what you said. It'€™s a great way to take you back to one of the happiest moments of your lives and help you gain perspective.    

3. Experience new things together -€“ Wake up, go to work, come home, eat dinner, go to bed. Sound familiar? It's hard to keep a relationship new and exciting after years and years together, but it'€™s not impossible! Go for a midnight drive to look at the stars, plan a weekend getaway, or just turn your electronics off for a romantic night at home. Doing things together that you have never done before is a way to keep yourself and your partner stimulated and excited about life and your relationship. It's a great way to make sure that you are growing together and not apart.  

4. Stay honest - Always & forever. This is pretty self-explanatory, but probably the most integral element in a happy, stable relationship. No matter how you are feeling, it'€™s one hundred percent necessary to be honest with your partner. Keeping secrets (except maybe a super romantic surprise anniversary trip) is not going to provide the kind of open, nurturing environment that needs to exist for love to flourish. It can be hard, but it'€™ll be better in the long run.

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Tagged: happily ever after, etiquette
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etiquette / article Nov 20 2013

After The Vows

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This article is brought to you by the fabulous Bernadette Coveney Smith of 14 Stories. Across the nation, she is the leading same-sex wedding planner. She trains wedding professionals around the world, showing them how best to service LGBT couples. Bernadette is doing a three part feature for H&H Weddings. The third and final part pertains to life just after the big day.

Getting married is a huge step in any relationship, and as a married woman myself, I can say with confidence that you’re going to love being married! For Jen and I, being married just made sense. Being together is the most natural thing in the world.

After our wedding, we went on a honeymoon and came back and crashed. We crashed hard! My life as a wedding planner is pretty intense about eight months a year and our own wedding fell smack dab in the middle of typical wedding season, so I personally was exhausted from planning my own – and other people’s – weddings. Our honeymoon in Aruba was exactly what we needed.  

But then, we experienced what many couples experience€“ post-wedding blues. If you think about it, there's so much anticipation prior to your big day. You may have the weight of the world on your shoulders. Wedding talk may dominate your conversations at work, with friends and with your partner. Now that the wedding'€™s over, what is there to talk about?! I'€™m kidding, hopefully you'€™ll find something but there does tend to be a void. That'€™s exactly what we and many other couples experienced. Fair warning! It'€™s not so large a void that you shouldn't have a wedding. The wedding is so worth it!

You know the rhyme, "first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage."€ For same-sex couples, as gay weddings are normalized and become more common, this is what happens with many families. We fall in love, we marry (now legally, in some places), and then some of us have kids. That'€™s what we did.

Whatever your next steps, I'd suggest replacing planning your wedding with a new project home buying, renovations or something else to keep moving your lives forward. Goals are great, especially when you accomplish them as a team, as a family.

- Bernadette Coveney Smith

If you missed the first two articles of the three part etiquette series from Bernadette, you can check them out here and here.

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Tagged: happily ever after, etiquette, 14 stories
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etiquette / q & a Oct 30 2013

Q

Are there still rules for sending out thank you's for your wedding gifts?

A

I recently had two friends (a couple) get married, ahh…bliss! But, not just yet! They are both dreading the task of writing thank you’s to their guests. The three of us recently had a conversation about this final wedding task.  

While many people think that a couple has six months to a year to get these notes out, the fact of the matter is that three months is really more appropriate. The sooner guests get the thank you, the more gracious you seem.  

At times, it can seem overwhelming trying to figure out whom to send thank you’s to. As the wedding festivities begin, keep a list of those who deserve gratitude; anyone who hosted a shower or bachelor/bachelorette party, family members and friends who go above and beyond to make things run smoothly, vendors who exceed your expectations. In an age of text messages and email, a hand written thank you (yes, this should absolutely be hand written) means a lot to people.  

When thanking people, be specific! Rather than say, “Thank you for your help,” say “We are so appreciative that you spent your afternoon entertaining the wedding party in your home. Everyone talked about what an amazing baker you are!” As well, if someone has given you cash, you may or may not want to mention the amount given, but you should tell them what you plan to do with it.  

Do not use generic letters or cards with printed messages and just a signature at the bottom. Also, no Facebook posts or emails.  

Sit down with your spouse, turn on some good tunes and open your first box of stationary with your married name on it! This can be a nice way to spend some time with your husband or wife and a great excuse to have some beautiful stationary made!

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Tagged: happily ever after, etiquette
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