H&H Weddings

Étiquette

Engagements

Planning a wedding is stressful enough without having to worry about etiquette guidelines. Let us help you out!

Ask us a question regarding étiquette by contacting us at bonjour@handhweddings.com

etiquette / article Dec 27 2016

2016 Roundup

Regular
Regular
Regular
Regular
Regular

Not everyone does an engagement shoot, but we sure love when couples do. Engagement shoots capture all of the joy and excitement and anticipation that we love to see as soonlyweds plan their lives together! Here are five of our favorite engagement shoots from 2016! 

We fell in love with suspenders and quiet moments all over again after Hillary Kaye Photography captured these beauties

Danfredo Photos + Films gave us all the New England fall feels with Matt & Dave's engagement sesh!

As if we didn't already want to cozy up with loved ones, Sara Rogers Photography made Sarah & Elle's engagement shoot light-drenched perfection! 

Kristina Lee Photography made us realize that engagement shoots can double as GQ cover shoots when Josh & Jonny were the most stylish couple ever. 

Dear Kyle & Zabrian, everything about your engagement shoot it AH-mazing. Also, #hairgoals 

permalink
Tagged: engagements, engagement shoots, best of, best of 2016
end
etiquette / article Oct 12 2016

Wedding Websites

Regular
Regular
Regular

Ah, technology. It is truly a blessing and a curse. We now have the benefits of online wedding registry, Google Maps, and Etsy to make all of our wedding planning convenient. Do you honestly need a wedding website? It’s one day of your life.

    

Simply put, yes, you do need a wedding website. Or, maybe you don't need one, but it does make things easier. Assuming you have friends and relatives traveling to your ceremony, your website can be a great way to let them know about the highlights of the city you're being wed in. You can include restaurant suggestions, as well as tourist attractions and driving/public transportation directions. All of this can make things easier for you while you're preparing for your big day. The last thing you need on the day of your wedding is a call from your uncle, lost on the highway somewhere.

We love Riley & Grey for modern, aesthetically pleasing website options. Trust us, it's hard to come by wedding websites that look this good! 

    

If you are getting married in close proximity to your guests, a wedding website can make registry a breeze. Though you don’t want to throw it out there, you can have a subtle registry section on your site.

The best way to let your guests know about your website is on an enclosure card in your invitation suite. You can simply say, “For more information, maps and directions, visit our wedding website at AlovesB.com!”  

permalink
Tagged: engagements, etiquette
end
etiquette / q & a Sep 21 2016

Q

My husband-to-be and I went through a lot of trouble registering for things that we really want and need (brutal task, I know) but we’re unsure if we can make a point to bring up our wedding registry to friends and family.

A

Unfortunately, you may not. Wedding gifts are not required and making guests feel obligated to bring them is not appropriate. Luckily, most people know about wedding registries these days, so anyone looking to get you something will likely turn there for ideas.  

If you have a wedding website, we suggest having an area dedicated to your registry. It should be small, but visible.  

You should note that nothing sent via snail mail (invite, enclosure card, etc.) should include registry info unless specifically requested by a guest.  

Best of luck to you and I hope you get all of the blenders you've ever dreamed of!

permalink
Tagged: engagements, etiquette
end
etiquette / q & a Aug 24 2016

Q

I want to propose to my girlfriend, but do I need to propose with a ring? I think she’d prefer to just exchange rings on our wedding day, it just seems strange to show up empty-handed to a proposal!

A

It can be a tricky situation for any couple looking to get engaged, but LGBT couples face an additional set of challenges; gender roles tend not to exist, which is wonderful, but can make things a bit more complicated.  

Here is my suggestion; if you think that your girlfriend would prefer to only exchange rings on your wedding day, go with that! You know her better than anyone. A lot of couples, gay and straight, are shying away from engagement rings these days. You could get her another piece of jewelry instead, such as a necklace, a bracelet or a watch. Getting it engraved makes it even more special.
 

I remember hearing about Jesse Tyler Ferguson proposing to his now husband with a watch that he had engraved to say “Spend all your time with me.” I thought that was so sweet and understated. It’s special, but not flashy and it’s a genuine and unique.  

Make sure that you feel as though your proposal is true to you as a couple and as individuals. However you decide to do it, be positive that it’s the best way to show your girlfriend that you love her! Also, good luck!

permalink
Tagged: engagements, etiquette
end
etiquette / q & a Aug 10 2016

Q

We just sent out our invitations, how do we make sure our guests RSVP?

A

Generally speaking, you want to give guests a couple of weeks between the arrival of the invite and the RSVP deadline to accommodate any planning that needs to be done. The easier you make it, the better! Sending out pre-stamped enclosure cards or allowing guests to RSVP via email removes at least one step of the process for them.

If you haven't heard from guests and it's within two weeks of the numbers being due to vendors, feel free to make friendly reminder calls! 

permalink
Tagged: engagements, etiquette
end
etiquette / q & a Jul 27 2016

Q

My partner and I are undecided about whether we should spend the night before the wedding together. Any thoughts?

A

My thought is this; if either of you are considering the fact that you might like to spend the night before the wedding apart, do it! It's something you cannot take back.

For many couples nowadays, it seems silly to spend the night apart before the big day. You probably already share a home, possibly have children (or pets) and it would be more of a comfort to spend your last night as singles, together. If neither one of you is interested in spending the night apart, certainly don't do it for tradition's sake. 

However, if one or both of you are considering it, I think it should be done. What a great way to build excitement! As well, the night apart can allow you to reflect on the amazing decision you're making to dedicate your life to the person you love.

This is one of many decisions that you must make as a couple while you plan the next step in your journey together!

permalink
Tagged: engagements, etiquette
end
etiquette / article Jul 13 2016

Kids Free Wedding

Regular

Kids can be a great addition to weddings; they are adorable when they dance, they make almost every picture better and they are the perfect ring bearers and flower tossers. However, not everyone wants tots to attend their marital ceremony. We’re here to help you make it clear to your friends and family that you are excited to spend the day with them, but not their rug rats.

Children tend to be a touchy subject, so in a situation like this, we suggest being overly polite about things.  

First and foremost, this is your day and if you don’t want kids there, that’s your prerogative. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about that decision. Besides, depending on the location and setting of your wedding and reception, children might not be appropriate guests.  

If you are inviting many people who have children, the best first step is to make the invitations straight forward and firm. Stating, “You and one guest are invited,” or, “We love your munchkins, but this is a grownup shindig,” makes the message clear; this won’t be romper room.  

If the invitation isn’t explicit enough and you get the sense that a guest may be planning on bringing their children, it’s best to face the problem head-on. You or your partner (whoever is closer to the guest) should call to cordially uninvite the little ones. Chalking it up to a misunderstanding keeps things copasetic. Another option is to make it about the kids and parents. “ I just don’t think they’d have a good time,” or, “We want to spend quality time with you, without the distraction of children.” Both of these convey the message you are trying to get across.  

Ultimately, if the guest is not getting what you'€™re trying to say, you may just have to be blunt. It's the least favorable option, but you reserve the right to have your wedding the way you want it and no one should get in the way of that.

permalink
Tagged: engagements, etiquette
end
etiquette / q & a Jun 22 2016

Q

I'm curious about how the bridal shower situation will work with me and my fiancé. Having two showers seems greedy and gratuitous.

A

Firstly, I would like to make this about wedding showers, not just bridal showers. Grooms deserve showers as well, full of silly games, booze, and gifts.  

I think there are two ways that this situation can be approached. You and your wife-to-be probably have many friends in common, but probably also have friends (from work or elsewhere) that are significantly closer to one of you than the other. Many couples experience multiple showers. Your work friends likely won’t be invited to the shower that your mom and aunt throw you, so make use of the separation in your lives!  

It could seem greedy to have two showers, so have one big one with all of your family and closest friends. Ask your wedding party to include your lady’s family and close friends as well. It’ll make for a great soiree and it’ll be a good way for everyone to mingle before the wedding day.  

In this situation, I would presume there would be a few smaller showers with people who either aren’t in the wedding or are not as close to your core group. These smaller showers can be kept separate from those for your fiancée.  

If you are not interested in sharing the spotlight, then don’t! Especially if this is your first marriage, you have every right to be the center of attention. There will be people that will get an invite to both parties, but make it clear that they are not expected to double gift, just participate fully in all (drinking) games!  

This is a joyous time in your lives, one which you’ll both remember for years to come, so make it special!

permalink
Tagged: engagements, etiquette
end
etiquette / q & a Aug 13 2014

Q

I love my sister, and I was thrilled when she asked me to help her and her fiancé plan their wedding, but my sister’s wife-to-be is a total bridezilla and it’s straining my relationship with my sister. What do I do?

A

Generally, being asked to help plan the biggest day of someone’s life is an honor and you should treat it as such. Your job is to make sure that you’re there for your sister. Obviously there will be decisions that they will make as a couple, but for the most part, you are emotional support (& maybe an invite addresser) for your sis.

Assuming this is taking too much of a strain on your relationship, a last resort would be for you to back out of your wedding duties, but I would avoid this at all costs.  

If your sister-in-law-to-be just knows what she wants, let her have it! It’s her day to shine and she deserves it! If she is mistreating your sister or anyone else, it might be time to have a talk with her. Many times, people get overzealous while planning their wedding. It could just be that she is very excited about the big day and wants everything to be perfect for her and your sister.  

Regardless, it’s a touchy subject, so approach it with caution. As long as everyone is being treated fairly, let your sister’s fiancé be the decision maker, sometimes it makes the situation easier if one partner takes the lead.  

permalink
Tagged: engagements, etiquette
end
etiquette / article Jul 30 2014

LGBT-Friendly Vendors

Regular

Many couples worry about finding LGBT-friendly vendors as they plan their wedding. Nothing sucks the excitement and romance out of organizing your big day like walking into a caterer’s for a tasting and realizing that they did not expect a same-sex couple.  

I have heard it both ways, some couples say that a vendor or venue never used assumed pronouns until they met the couple, other people have had to fill out contracts labeling one person the “bride” and the other the “groom.” All-in-all, I think the best thing anyone has said to me is this, “We decided to let our money do the talking.” As you should. This is probably the biggest chunk of change you’ll ever spend on one day and it should be the best day ever. If a vendor doesn’t expect a same-sex couple, but quickly adjusts and takes it in stride, I can deal with that, especially if their contract is gender-neutral. But if you, for any reason, feel uncomfortable, take your business elsewhere!  

Some states are luckier with this than others (you know who you are!). If you are looking for LGBT-friendly vendors, one great place to turn is our very own Crème de la Crème vendor list. It is full of vendors who not only want to work with same sex couples, but who have experience with them, which is key.  

If you don’t have luck there, and you have an idea of which vendors you’d like to work with in your area, book appointments! Here are a few things you should never be afraid to ask…  

1. Have you worked with same sex couples before? (A florist’s answer might not matter so much, but a photographer’s will, you want to make sure that the person capturing your wedding day understands the dynamic of your relationship and never makes you feel uncomfortable.)  

2. Can we use a gender-neutral contract? (It is 2014, after all!)  

3. Can we see samples of your work? (Whenever you hire a vendor, for a wedding or other event, you should always see samples of their work to make sure it’s what you are in the market for.)  

Keeping all of this in mind, I hope you are better prepared for the task of finding vendors to make your wedding day perfect! 

permalink
Tagged: engagements, etiquette
end
Back to top