H&H Weddings

etiquette / article Mar 20 2017

Proposals

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Years ago, when H&H Weddings was founded, same sex marriage wasn't legal. At that time, couples would either have to travel to the select states that had instated marriage equality or have their own (not legally recognized) wedding. Laws couldn't prevent us from committing our lives together, it just complicated other aspects of life where, legally, having a spouse was involved.

As soon as marriage equality was in effect, many couples that had been together for years decided to tie the knot, legally. 

For many of the couples who were in preexisting long-term relationships, this just felt like the safe thing to do. In essence, they had been married for years, just not protected by the law. For others, it was finally their time to shine. We got SO many submissions from couples who were dating when marriage equality passed. They were ecstatic as they planned their wedding. 

It's interesting how the proposal in a queer relationship is not cut-and-dry. There's no real guidelines to how it all works. Over the next two days, we are featuring a couple where each bride-to-be surprised and proposed to the other. Plenty of other couples decide over morning coffee that the timing is just right. The greatest part of being part of this community is that we get to break rules, make up our own and do what genuinely feels right for us as unique and individual humans. 

We wanted to do a little proposal coverage, as we've seen so many amazing proposals over the years! There is no right or wrong way to do it, but maybe you'll read this and something will hit home for you, or provide you with a bit of clarity on how your own proposal should look.

1. One person proposes to the other:

This is probably the most common proposal that we see! It's also the most traditional. One of the things we love reading about the most is when both members of the couple sort of end up in a race to propose to the other. It's incredible how many couples will plan to propose to each other on the same day/weekend/trip. Often, if both people were planning to propose, there will be a follow up proposal for the second one. In a way, it ends up being an unintentional dual proposal. 

2. Mutual decision:

For a lot of folks, the idea of a surprise proposal seems overwhelming or just "not them." If you aren't into the pomp and circumstance, we totally get it! Many couples will just make a choice together watching tv one night or on a walk with the dog. It doesn't have to be a production if you don't want it to.

3. Dual Proposals:

Many LGBTQ+ couples will decide that it's time for them to get married and then each member of the couple will go about planning their own proposal. Often they aren't coordinated in any way. It's just about each member of the couple having their turn to tell the other one how they feel and why they want to commit to them. 

There are endless number of ways to start your lives together and we love hearing all of them!

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