H&H Weddings

etiquette / q & a Dec 5 2018


My wife and I are unsure about taking last names. Any suggestions?


Taking last names can be tricky in queer relationships. One of you isn't traditionally "supposed" to take the other person's name. 

Many couples say they always knew who would take the other partner's last name, but for some couples it is less clear. If it isn't important to you, don't feel pressure to change your name at all, but if you're thinking about it, taking last names can be a great way to start your life together!

Hyphenated last names seem to have some sort of stigma (What about the kids?!), but I think they are great. It's the most egalitarian way to go about this name-taking business. It's a simple, equal solution.

However, if you are not interested in taking on two last names, you could always create a name that is a combination of both of your last names. This is actually really sweet and unique, although does require both of you to legally change your names. It can also be tricky, depending on your last names. 

Whatever you chose to do, don't feel pressure to change your name in a way that makes you uncomfortable. This is what you'll be addressed as for the rest of your life. 

Tagged: etiquette, we do's
view more