H&H Weddings

etiquette / q & a May 3 2017

Q

What do we do about unsupportive family?

A

Everyone knows about the dreaded guest list at a wedding. If you invite one of your college friends, you most likely have to invite them all. And what about your second cousins that your mother was close with growing up? Yep, they’ll probably get the invite. LGBT couples face an additional hurdle in mapping out their guest list; the unsupportive family members.  
This particular issue can be tackled in two different ways. Your first option can be to leave unsupportive family members off the guest list. It is your day and, as newlyweds, you deserve to be surrounded by love and support. Many times LGBTQ+ folks end up with a "chosen family" anyway, so their presence is crucial to the success of the event. We certainly think this is a good choice, especially for couples having small ceremonies. Including unsupportive family can lessen the sense of intimacy and you run the risk of disrupting the blissful atmosphere.  
The latter option involves a bit more give from the couple. Assuming both partners agree that it’s a priority, inviting family who wasn’t always supportive can be a great opportunity to show them how happy and committed you are to one another. It can give them a chance to take part in your love, making them understand what you and your spouse have. Perhaps the unsupportive parties’ ideas of LGBT couples aren’t accurate. They should know that you will be just like them when you’re married; arguing over who takes the trash out and what to watch on Netflix. LGBT weddings tend to include many of the marital traditions of straight couples, so there will probably be many aspects that make uncomfortable parties feel welcome.  
Weddings are about the devotion of the couple being wed. When all is said and done, do what you feel will make your day special.

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Tagged: etiquette, we do's, engagements
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