This article is brought to you by the fabulous Bernadette Coveney Smith of 14 Stories. Across the nation, she is the leading same-sex wedding planner. She trains wedding professionals around the world, showing them how best to service LGBT couples. Bernadette is doing a three part feature for H&H Weddings. The third and final part pertains to life just after the big day.
Getting married is a huge step in any relationship, and as a married woman myself, I can say with confidence that you’re going to love being married! For Jen and I, being married just made sense. Being together is the most natural thing in the world.
After our wedding, we went on a honeymoon and came back and crashed. We crashed hard! My life as a wedding planner is pretty intense about eight months a year and our own wedding fell smack dab in the middle of typical wedding season, so I personally was exhausted from planning my own – and other people’s – weddings. Our honeymoon in Aruba was exactly what we needed.
But then, we experienced what many couples experience post-wedding blues. If you think about it, there's so much anticipation prior to your big day. You may have the weight of the world on your shoulders. Wedding talk may dominate your conversations at work, with friends and with your partner. Now that the wedding's over, what is there to talk about?! I'm kidding, hopefully you'll find something but there does tend to be a void. That's exactly what we and many other couples experienced. Fair warning! It's not so large a void that you shouldn't have a wedding. The wedding is so worth it!
You know the rhyme, "first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage." For same-sex couples, as gay weddings are normalized and become more common, this is what happens with many families. We fall in love, we marry (now legally, in some places), and then some of us have kids. That's what we did.
Whatever your next steps, I'd suggest replacing planning your wedding with a new project home buying, renovations or something else to keep moving your lives forward. Goals are great, especially when you accomplish them as a team, as a family.
- Bernadette Coveney Smith