H&H Weddings

etiquette / q & a Oct 30 2013


Are there still rules for sending out thank you's for your wedding gifts?


I recently had two friends (a couple) get married, ahh…bliss! But, not just yet! They are both dreading the task of writing thank you’s to their guests. The three of us recently had a conversation about this final wedding task.  

While many people think that a couple has six months to a year to get these notes out, the fact of the matter is that three months is really more appropriate. The sooner guests get the thank you, the more gracious you seem.  

At times, it can seem overwhelming trying to figure out whom to send thank you’s to. As the wedding festivities begin, keep a list of those who deserve gratitude; anyone who hosted a shower or bachelor/bachelorette party, family members and friends who go above and beyond to make things run smoothly, vendors who exceed your expectations. In an age of text messages and email, a hand written thank you (yes, this should absolutely be hand written) means a lot to people.  

When thanking people, be specific! Rather than say, “Thank you for your help,” say “We are so appreciative that you spent your afternoon entertaining the wedding party in your home. Everyone talked about what an amazing baker you are!” As well, if someone has given you cash, you may or may not want to mention the amount given, but you should tell them what you plan to do with it.  

Do not use generic letters or cards with printed messages and just a signature at the bottom. Also, no Facebook posts or emails.  

Sit down with your spouse, turn on some good tunes and open your first box of stationary with your married name on it! This can be a nice way to spend some time with your husband or wife and a great excuse to have some beautiful stationary made!

Tagged: etiquette, happily ever after
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