H&H Weddings

Étiquette

Everything

Planning a wedding is stressful enough without having to worry about etiquette guidelines. Let us help you out!

Ask us a question regarding étiquette by contacting us at bonjour@handhweddings.com

etiquette / q & a May 3 2017

Q

What do we do about unsupportive family?

A

Everyone knows about the dreaded guest list at a wedding. If you invite one of your college friends, you most likely have to invite them all. And what about your second cousins that your mother was close with growing up? Yep, they’ll probably get the invite. LGBT couples face an additional hurdle in mapping out their guest list; the unsupportive family members.  
This particular issue can be tackled in two different ways. Your first option can be to leave unsupportive family members off the guest list. It is your day and, as newlyweds, you deserve to be surrounded by love and support. Many times LGBTQ+ folks end up with a "chosen family" anyway, so their presence is crucial to the success of the event. We certainly think this is a good choice, especially for couples having small ceremonies. Including unsupportive family can lessen the sense of intimacy and you run the risk of disrupting the blissful atmosphere.  
The latter option involves a bit more give from the couple. Assuming both partners agree that it’s a priority, inviting family who wasn’t always supportive can be a great opportunity to show them how happy and committed you are to one another. It can give them a chance to take part in your love, making them understand what you and your spouse have. Perhaps the unsupportive parties’ ideas of LGBT couples aren’t accurate. They should know that you will be just like them when you’re married; arguing over who takes the trash out and what to watch on Netflix. LGBT weddings tend to include many of the marital traditions of straight couples, so there will probably be many aspects that make uncomfortable parties feel welcome.  
Weddings are about the devotion of the couple being wed. When all is said and done, do what you feel will make your day special.

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Tagged: engagements, we do's, etiquette
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etiquette / article Apr 13 2017

Paper

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Paper is one of those things that is typically not part of what couples think about when they preemptively dream about their wedding. It's not like..."Since I knew you were the one, I have always dreamed of walking down the aisle with you. And letterpress invitation suites." No, this is one of those sneaky details that can cost an absolute fortune, but also sets the tone for what guests can expect at your love party. 

One of our favorite things is seeing how creative couples get with paper goods. There is a standard to how items are addressed and packaged, but there is also SO much room for creativity. One of our faves? A couple included a temporary tattoo that their guests had to use and take a photo of to RSVP. How brilliant is that?!

We've gathered a few of our favorite paper goods we've ever seen. We hope you love them as much as we do!

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Tagged: papergoods
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etiquette / q & a Apr 11 2017

Q

The members of our wedding party don’t have a surplus of cash, so my partner and I decided that we would pay for dresses, ties and vests. Should we still get the wedding party gifts?

A

While this was a very sweet and generous gesture, you should probably still get the members of your wedding tribe a small token of your appreciation. The gift should not be related to the wedding, but should signify that you are grateful to have this person in your life and supporting you on your wedding day. Remember, the best gifts don’t necessarily cost the most, a framed picture of you and your best friend can be just as meaningful as something more pricey.

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etiquette / article Apr 5 2017

Color Inspiration

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The interwebs have been abuzz with the onslaught of millennial pink, which inspired us to do a little roundup of some of our favorite pink details. There are a million ways to subtly or not so subtly incorporate this hue into your fête. We love an unexpected pop of pink, like these metallic shoes from our Barbie & Kendra styled shoot. 

Prefer pink pom poms rather than rice as your make your exit like Eleanor & Charlotte's Moody London Soirée

Leona & Andrea's Whimsical Urban Wedding included some subdued pink tones for floral hairpieces. 

Want to stray from tradition? How about ankle corsages like this Boho Styled Shoot?

No, pink isn't just for girls! This masculine Industrial Styled Shoot used pink in a variety of shades and layers.

There are more traditional options like bowties, wedding party attire and paper goods like Drew & Luke's Pink Geometric Nuptials

All of this to say, there's no wrong way to utilize pink! 

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Tagged: pink, color inspiration, palette inspiration, inspiration for every season
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etiquette / article Mar 20 2017

Proposals

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Years ago, when H&H Weddings was founded, same sex marriage wasn't legal. At that time, couples would either have to travel to the select states that had instated marriage equality or have their own (not legally recognized) wedding. Laws couldn't prevent us from committing our lives together, it just complicated other aspects of life where, legally, having a spouse was involved.

As soon as marriage equality was in effect, many couples that had been together for years decided to tie the knot, legally. 

For many of the couples who were in preexisting long-term relationships, this just felt like the safe thing to do. In essence, they had been married for years, just not protected by the law. For others, it was finally their time to shine. We got SO many submissions from couples who were dating when marriage equality passed. They were ecstatic as they planned their wedding. 

It's interesting how the proposal in a queer relationship is not cut-and-dry. There's no real guidelines to how it all works. Over the next two days, we are featuring a couple where each bride-to-be surprised and proposed to the other. Plenty of other couples decide over morning coffee that the timing is just right. The greatest part of being part of this community is that we get to break rules, make up our own and do what genuinely feels right for us as unique and individual humans. 

We wanted to do a little proposal coverage, as we've seen so many amazing proposals over the years! There is no right or wrong way to do it, but maybe you'll read this and something will hit home for you, or provide you with a bit of clarity on how your own proposal should look.

1. One person proposes to the other:

This is probably the most common proposal that we see! It's also the most traditional. One of the things we love reading about the most is when both members of the couple sort of end up in a race to propose to the other. It's incredible how many couples will plan to propose to each other on the same day/weekend/trip. Often, if both people were planning to propose, there will be a follow up proposal for the second one. In a way, it ends up being an unintentional dual proposal. 

2. Mutual decision:

For a lot of folks, the idea of a surprise proposal seems overwhelming or just "not them." If you aren't into the pomp and circumstance, we totally get it! Many couples will just make a choice together watching tv one night or on a walk with the dog. It doesn't have to be a production if you don't want it to.

3. Dual Proposals:

Many LGBTQ+ couples will decide that it's time for them to get married and then each member of the couple will go about planning their own proposal. Often they aren't coordinated in any way. It's just about each member of the couple having their turn to tell the other one how they feel and why they want to commit to them. 

There are endless number of ways to start your lives together and we love hearing all of them!

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Tagged: proposals
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