H&H Weddings

Étiquette

Everything

Planning a wedding is stressful enough without having to worry about etiquette guidelines. Let us help you out!

Ask us a question regarding étiquette by contacting us at bonjour@handhweddings.com

etiquette / q & a Aug 16 2017

Q

We're getting married out of the country. How far in advance should we send our save-the-dates?

A

Generally speaking, if you are getting married out of the country, or if you're planning a wedding around a major holiday, you should send your save-the-dates about a year in advance. This allows your guests the time make travel arrangements. If this is the case, we suggest you contact your hotel to make sure they take reservations a year in advance. 

If you're having a wedding that will not require major travel by your guests, four to six months is standard.

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etiquette / article Aug 1 2017

Golden Hour

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You know that moment when the sun starts to set and sky is on fire with brilliant shades of orange and pink? We call that golden hour and it's one of our very favorite things about summer weddings.

As we say good-bye to summer, we wanted to wrap up with a few golden hour photos that will surely make you feel the warmth of the setting sun! (Just remember this post when the snow starts falling!)

Nothing screams romance quite like the glowing sunlight, shining down on a couple in love! *heart eyes*

Want to see more from of these gorgeous couples? Click on the photographers name here:

Cassie Rosch 

Thompson Photography Group

Unique Lapin

Zoom Theory

Rad + In Love

Todd Wilson Images

C10 Studios

Paige Nelson Photography

Meredith McKee Photography

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etiquette / article Jul 19 2017

The First Look

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A lot of couples have a hard time deciding whether to honor tradition and not see each other until the aisle OR break tradition and do a first look. If these first look photos don't make your heart burst, then we don't know what will!

Whenever we get wedding submissions and the couple does a first look, they always mention that it was hands-down, the best moment of their day. If you are going the traditional route and not seeing each other until your both fully ready, it’s even more powerful. Because there is not a sea of eyes, all on the couple, the pair is more likely to express their emotions. Who is going to break down crying in front of 150 guests if they can avoid it? If it’s just you and your spouse-to-be, it’s going to get raw. And beautiful. Our favorite images are always those from the first look. They are so genuine, unfiltered and moving.  

Outside of the emotional realness, it’s the only time you have together during the day! Every other moment of the day will likely be spent making sure things are going okay, talking to guests, being in the spotlight. We love the idea of being able to take a deep breath together as you prepare for a huge step in your lives and a very hectic day.  

If you opt to not do a first look, we won’t hold it against you, but we will advise a mini portrait session, after the ceremony, with you and your spouse. Get away from the craziness, leave the cocktail hour and spend a few minutes, enjoying each other’s company.  

Call us radical, but isn't this day about the newlyweds? So often, it seems as though it is more about the guests and whether they are having a good time.

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Tagged: etiquette, first look
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etiquette / article Jul 12 2017

The Rings

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I am just going to go ahead and say it. I when I started running H&H Weddings, I really didn't like wedding rings. I am still not 100% sold on them; I dislike what they can stand for, I dislike the shrieks of women when they ask to see the other's ring (as if a huge diamond means you love each other more) and I dislike that notion of "if you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it." I think, often, it feels possessive. Even to this day, sometimes, I have an issue with them. However, today, we're talking rings and they have certainly grown on me since I have seen and heard hundreds of proposal/engagement stories in which the rings were meaningful and the proposal was egalitarian.

If you are a queer person thinking about getting engaged, there is a lot to think about. Does one person propose to the other? Do we each take our turn proposing? Do we even bother with rings? Are there rings that will suit us as people and our values and beliefs? My favorite thing about LGBTQ+ folks and the institution of marriage is how creative it can get. I love that couples decide to ring shop together, to chose meaningful jewelry instead of stick to traditional diamonds. I love hearing about how the decisions get made. I love that couples have found unique and special and heartfelt ways to say "we do." 

The vast majority of weddings include some sort of proposal. Often it's one where each member of the couple proposes to the other person. Sometimes someone gets down on one knee and sometimes, it is decided over morning coffee one day. What I love is that it always seems like a mutual decision, with each person having equal say in how the proposal happens. It feels fair and loving and well thought out and yes, sometimes I tear up reading about all of this.

Four years ago, when I started blogging about LGBTQ+ weddings, I didn't see as many options for rings as I do now. It felt more binary (as did everything else). Today, I am pleased to say, I truly feel that jewelers are open to making pieces for every type of person. That even includes (gasp) engagement rings for men! 

I wanted to round up a few companies who I think are doing great work, who are ethical and socially conscious (and who actually make me like the idea of rings!).

Rings are a tricky thing because many people wear them daily, which means they have to work with your life and style.

So, when I first heard of masculine engagement rings, I was pretty pumped about it, I'm not going to lie. Finally, this felt like a step in the right direction. I love this aide-mémoire band with a tiny diamond, which is a nod to the traditional engagement ring. It's masculine, it's chic. I love it for anyone who wants to spice up the traditional "men's" wedding band! 

Black stones are gorgeous and modern and literally work with anything. That's why I am obsessed with this gold Blue Nile band with black diamonds. It amps things up without being over-the-top.

What about a more femme option without too much bling action? I adore Bario Neal. If you haven't heard of them, check 'em out! They are a Philly based woman-owned, feminist company and they do amazing things! Bario Neal offers custom work, but their preexisting designs basically blow my mind. This sapphire number is perfection. It's not too wedding-y, but it is a stunning statement piece. 

For those of you who love vintage, do yourself a favor and look at Brilliant Earth's vintage section. They have curated a beautiful selection of vintage rings and they will resize them for you as needed.  I chose this Victorian emerald ring because is the shape. It's different, but not too elaborate. 

Old rings, new rings, or no rings at all, whatever you do should be a meaningful commitment to the love of your life. You and your partner should decide what reflects your personalities best!

Kate Schaefer, EIC

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Tagged: engagements, etiquette
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etiquette / q & a Jun 28 2017

Q

We are paying for our own wedding. How should we word the invitations?

A

There are a few ways you can word your invitations in this situation. 

If you are having your ceremony in a place of worship, you would say:

The honor of your presence
is requested at the marriage of
James John Parker
to Mitchell Paul Jacobson
Saturday, the ninth of August
two thousand and fourteen
at half past four in the afternoon

If you are having a formal affair, but not in a place of worship, you would say:

The pleasure of your company
is requested at the marriage of
James John Parker
to Mitchell Paul Jacobson
Saturday, the ninth of August
two thousand and fourteen
at half past four in the afternoon

If you are having a more casual soirée, you can word your invites in a number of ways, but these are a couple of common examples:

James John Parker &
Mitchell Paul Jacobson
invite you to their wedding
Saturday, August 9, 2014
at 4:30 in the afternoon


OR 

James John Parker &
Mitchell Paul Jacobson
invite you to share and celebrate at their wedding
Saturday, August 9, 2014
at 4:30 in the afternoon

When going with a less formal option, feel free to get creative with the wording! Your friends and family will appreciate your unique invites and, if you say something along the lines of, "...invite you to shake your groove thing," the tone for a fun evening will be set before the guests arrive! 

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Tagged: engagements, etiquette, invitations
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